I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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