God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize