After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
