Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize