he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Randomize
