The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
