It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So here I am, sexting at work.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
