East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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