Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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