i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
