Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize