Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize