I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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