I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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