I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
