Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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