Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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