I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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