Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
