Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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