Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
