i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
