I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
