Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
