I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
