I'm really into asian looking animals
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
