your parents love me but you hate me
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
