What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
