Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
