ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
