I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize