I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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