I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
