if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I want to stick my p in your. b.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
