your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
