I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
