You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Randomize
