her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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