i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
