i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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