i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
