dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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