Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
