i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
