it's too hot outside to masturbate.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
