Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
What a dumb baby whore.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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