i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We're too hungover to prance.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
