Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize