Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
