Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
