If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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