Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
