I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
