My balls are so social today.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
