I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize