Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
