You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
