God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He better not be in your backpack
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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