I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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