you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I didn't notice because vodka
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
