yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
