It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
