I wish I could teleport
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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