I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
