do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
